It is so easy to go into "fix-it" mode, rather than live with struggle. If something isn't working fix it. If someone isn't happy cheer them up. If someone has a problem we want it fixed and we start giving answers. Sometimes when people are struggling they just need a listening ear. Some one to ask the question "what have you tried" rather than telling them what to do. Fixing has an "air" or "I'm smarter than you". When we go right to results it is as though we assume the struggler has not even tried to fix the situation. That they haven't already thought of every thing. That maybe our "pat answer" isn't the cure all we believe it to be. As a struggler, i (laurie) just want someone to come beside me and believe in me. Maybe validate my weariness in the effort to make things right or better. Struggle is what brings us together as a community and when we all work together , share, listen and just be with one another then that is where healing starts. Do you want to be fixed? Neither do i and yet i still fall guilty to trying to fix others . I will strive to ask the questions and come beside and put my fix-it kit on the back burner for awhile.
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Suzette / Laurie