We think that's a myth. What it boils down to is how much you really want to attain your dream. When your "anything" becomes a possibility it's because you're willing to work for it. That is when you take your dream to reality. That is when work doesn't feel like work because you're doing what you love. Ask yourself: What steps are you willing to take? How hard will you work? Is it really your passion and does it line up with your values? What is your dream and how are you getting there?
With graduation upon us some of us are facing the empty nest in one way or another. In our audio blog we take it a little more in depth. While Laurie's nest is now completely empty, Suzette's became 1/2 empty last year. We both want you to know - it's tough and there is a myriad of emotions which can't be avoided. Maybe you could share steps you took or are taking to make your transition a little easier.
What is coaching? It is all about you, helping you see what you already know. It is easy to go about life as it is, status quo, we don’t look at how we are doing, our life balance or even our values. Often times we don’t re evaluate those aspects as an adult, we just go with what we know and don’t even consider things could be different. Coaching is an opportunity to look at your life and see what you really want to do and want to be.
Sharing our lives with others (a coach or coaching group) can help gain perspective to look at things differently. To get a fresh view point to evaluate issues from different angles. Coaching can change the whole way one views things and approaches issues. A term that is maybe over used is
“reframing” for example take the tough economy, maybe you are thinking “I have to get out of debt”. That can become all consuming, even though you are thinking “I want to get out of debt” which is a good thing. It can actually be a negative; because it is focusing on something you don’t have so it is on the deficit not the strength. This is what I have; this is what I can pay. Focus on living your purpose and don’t let the distraction of deficit sink you into despair. Sharing your struggle with others, let them encourage you, help you gain energy and get validated. It helps you remember who you are and your struggle is not about you being a bad person, but rather about you doing what you can. Coaching helps you look at and discover options and then take steps to getting there.
Counseling is different from coaching because it identifies disorders and issues so you can find ground to begin healing. But what we love about coaching is; it is what you already know, is is what is in your heart. Having someone listen, really hear and validate what you know. Coaching helps you discover ways to get where you want to be. We get to listen like a best friend. Truly hear your hearts desire and validate who you are as a person. Suzette says when she has been coached the benefit has been that the coach can take two different aspects of a situation and weave them together to her make sense of it. Another thing we love about coaching is that it adds structure and action steps to your desires. As you move toward your goal we have activities that will help you get there. We encourage the “small steps” that seem so insignificant and yet pave the way step by step to your dream. It is like learning an instrument, you have to learn chords before you can play a song, or learn some theory to help you understand, all important parts of the process. Moving forward you don’t stay stuck. The big picture can be so overwhelming so we help you reduce it to the ridiculous, focus on the small steps, the do-able parts. Laurie says, she has learned struggling and obstacles is really a blessing. If we went from desire, to a dream fulfilled overnight, we would miss so much of the process that is valuable to the final goal. The steps and obstacles makes the dream more valuable. As you grow and learn then you can reach out and mentor others to do what you have done.
People know what they want, we (the coaches) are not here to give advice, our job is to help you know what you know and make a strategy and a plan,
Coaching will also challenge you, maybe a little “kick in the rear: so to speak to say lets go for it. Make a commitment to do what you need to do to get where you want to go and a little bit of accountability to help keep you on track.
That is what we love about coaching and why we are so excited to have a radio show. But until that time, keep listening to the audio blogs, posted each Monday on the website and sign up for conference coaching.
Today we are talking about relationships… other than marriage. When is it time to cut off an unhealthy relationship? If it is not healthy for me and not helping them what do we do? We tend to stay even though we feel negative and the encounters bring us down. We think we are helping them. Maybe it is time to evaluate the good in the relationship. Who is it helping? Are you staying only because you think it is wrong or “unchristian” to end it?
The best thing and some times hardest thing to do is to be honest. Tell the person upfront, I need to be able to leave our lunches and not feel drained. Maybe the person would want to be in relationship and say what have I got to do to stay in relationship with you? What are they bringing to the lunch? Hot dogs or caviar? So telling the other person how you feel, without blame. Ex: I feel down after meeting with you. What can we do to change this? See if it is something they want. If not it may be time to step back.
We assume we know where people are, ask the question.
Dr. Townsend and McCloud in their book Boundaries talk about helping people move a boulder versus carrying their backpack for them. It is good to help with the big things like boulders but when we take on their daily struggles as our own that is when we run into difficulties. Don’t carry someone else’s backpack. There is a time to listen when a friend may need to vent but when it becomes daily or weekly that is when you run into struggles. That is what burn out is all about.
When people just dump on you maybe by asking the questions you can empower them. Helping them see their choices by asking the questions. If they aren’t interested in choices or moving forward it may be time to take a step back from the relationship.
Another great tool is validation. Letting others know that you see they are frustrated, sad, etc. Then asking the questions takes it from dumping to thinking.
We have a big dream and we want you to be part of it. We want to have a radio show and we want to encourage you to live your dream. If we can encourage a thousand people to live their dream. We hope you will call in and tell us your thoughts what you have always wanted to do.
Maybe you think you are too old, or it is too late, not enough money. It is about taking action one step at a time. We encourage you to take steps toward your dream. We will challenge you to challenge yourself. One step at a time. You might say “I could never do that”, we say what if? Maybe you start looking at photo’s magazine’s start reviving the dream. Together we will face the challenges that go with moving into your dream. To believe big, you have doubts and we get to encourage you. Our purpose is to help others along the way. We all want to matter, to be seen to make a difference. We can do it with what we love.
We all have down times thinking this is as good as it gets, that is okay but what if there is better? What if there is bigger what if we could help people help people. It’s changing the me to we. Helping others takes you from living your life about you to living for others doing what you love.
We need you! We need sponsors, listeners and that is why we are posting blogs and audio blogs. We hope you will pass them on, each one address a different issue. Coaching is about asking the questions, stirring the pot, encouraging you to think outside the box, a little differently.
What can I do to make a difference? There is one thing I can do today. What if you end each day asking yourself, what one thing did I do today to make a difference? What did I do to get closer to my goal?
We want to know who you are and what your dream is and how we can support you in your dream.
This is free coaching on air and on line. If you call into the show you will help others struggling with the same issues. The goal is the show and the community we build with it. The connections that will be made, mentoring that will happen. We are in the beginning steps, Laurie works in radio and we are both life coaches.
This coaching show is about you. You don’t have to accept “this is good as it gets”
We love what we are doing and we want you to be a part of it.
Suzette / Laurie